Written by Mojo, medically reviewed by Dr Matthew Chan, Medical Doctor
When stress creeps up on you, it can have a big impact on your mood, general health and erections. But it’s a pretty tough knot to unpick.
So, for World Mental Health Day, we employed the help of not 1, not 2, but 3 experts to show us how stress and ED are related, and to teach us a few calming techniques for us to take into the bedroom.
Are you ready to meet them?
Roll call over. Let’s begin.
A little bit of stress can be helpful. It’s our brain’s first line of defence – keeping us alert and out of trouble (watch out for that bus!).
But when stress persists, it can lead to problems like psychological erectile dysfunction.
We asked Dr Matt to tell us why:
“Erections rely on a lot of interconnected bodily processes (from the right brain signals, to good blood flow and relaxed muscles) which need to work together to get things off the ground.
Stress can trigger a host of physical symptoms which hold up our sexual functions or stop our systems communicating with each other. When there are too many spanners in the works, it can become difficult to get it up or keep it up.”
Dr Matthew Chan, Medical Doctor
Okay, so now we know stress has the power to gatecrash date night, we’re not feeling any calmer. But let’s not panic, we just need to dig a little deeper to learn how to turn things around.
Stress might have the power to wreak havoc in our bodies, but it’s important to remember it’s actually governed by the mind. So we can help reduce the impact of stress by shifting the way we think.
This doesn’t sound easy, but we’ve been told the first step is to become aware of how our own stress works, and notice when it starts to get in the way of our erections.
This starts by understanding that stress can come from two places:
None of us wants to be the root of our own stress, especially if it’s keeping us out of the bedroom. So we asked Amanda to explain how our thoughts can grow into our erections’ worst enemies:
“Internal stresses often start out as small worries or doubts. These begin as little ‘what if?’ phrases. For example, ‘what if I’m not as good as the last person they slept with?’
When we put questions like this to our stressed-out brain, what we’d like back is some reassurance. Instead, what usually happens is our anxious mind keeps adding fuel to fire with even worse thoughts like ‘I will be humiliated’, or even ‘I will never have a loving relationship’.
Falling down an emotional hole like this can become a mental habit. In therapy, we call it catastrophizing.”
Amanda Barge, psychosexual and relationship therapist
There’s no denying these thoughts don’t sound too sexy. But why can’t we just push them to one side and get down to business anyway?
Sounds like there’s some science involved:
“When we’re catastrophizing, we start to spiral, which causes our rising stress levels to stimulate the quick release of adrenaline.
This stress hormone causes the body’s sympathetic nervous system to shift gears into a state of ‘fight or flight’ – the same process that raises your heart rate, makes you sweat, and slows digestion, so your body can focus on dealing with danger.
When this happens, any chance of relaxation goes out the window, and the brain signals telling your penis to get hard are quickly replaced with new instructions designed to help you defend yourself.”
Dr Matthew Chan, Medical Doctor
Not really the sensual vibe you were hoping for, ey? We get it, but did you really think we’d leave you hanging there with no handy hints?
Please! Over to you Amanda.
Next time you feel yourself getting pulled down by negative thoughts, Amanda shared a couple of things you can do to stop yourself from falling all the way down the rabbit hole.
Now we know how our thoughts and beliefs can trip us up, it’s time to head into the outside world.
We asked Amanda for her professional opinion on why uncontrollable forces outside the bedroom can cause ED:
“External stresses can be big or small. They include everything like missing the train, losing your job, going through a break up, or even the small matter of living through a global pandemic.
None of these things are a certain cause of ED on their own. But when we experience a significant period of stress, or a bunch of little things add up, it can equate to trouble in the bedroom.
That’s because the more stress we encounter, the less we can take. And if the tension level builds beyond a certain point, our bodies and brains can buckle under the pressure – and erection issues might be the first sign you’re really struggling.”
Amanda Barge, psychosexual and relationship therapist
Yikes! We’ve all been through periods where things become too much, but do we really need to take stress that seriously if we want to keep it up?
Dr Matt, what do you think?
“It’s 100% important to address stress if it’s been going on for a long time and is negatively impacting your wellbeing and sex life.
Like temporary anxiety, a long period of stress messes with your hormones. However, this time we’re talking about another important hormone, cortisol.
Higher cortisol levels help the body mobilise energy and wake up, but are also directly linked with reduced sexual function, lower testosterone levels, and reduced libido. So it’s important to nip excess production from stress in the bud.”
Dr Matthew Chan, Medical Doctor
Okay, we want to get off the cortisol express. Amanda, any therapy techniques that can help?
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