Being hard ‘instantly’ at the start of every sexual encounter isn’t realistic or necessary. Getting comfortable with your penis when it’s not erect can help combat performance anxiety when you’re in the moment.
Step by step guide:
1. Treat yourself, take this seriously and set the scene. Make sure you aren’t going to be disturbed. Whatever is needed for you to relax.
2. The challenge is to touch your soft penis for 10 minutes without letting yourself get a full erection.
3. Touch it in whatever way feels good. Stroke, squeeze, tickle – whatever works for you.
4. If you start to feel yourself getting hard, think about the sensations.
5. This exercise is all about focusing on the sensations so try not to think about having sex or anything else. Concentrate on the physical feeling of the touch.
6. Don’t let yourself get anything more than a semi, if you do, appreciate it for a second and then leave it to go down. That means this session is over for you.
7. Repeat this exercise until you feel comfortable touching yourself when you are flaccid. You may need to practice over a long period of time, weeks or months.